Hey there, gorgeous! Today's topic is one that probably hits close to home for a lot of us. We all know how important it is to express ourselves, to be unique, and to embrace our individuality. But what happens when someone starts copying everything we do? It's a situation that can cause a whirlwind of emotions, ranging from confusion to frustration. I always see posts on social media saying things like "If someone's copying you, you're winning," and though that may be true, it's really aggravating. Today, I want to share a personal story that I'm sure many of you can relate to. It's about my ex-best friend, who seemed to take imitation to a whole new level. But here's the catch: I don't think her copying is a form of admiration, and here's why:
To understand the frustration I felt towards my ex-best friend's consistent copying, let's rewind to the beginning of our friendship. We became friends when I moved schools in the sixth grade. At that point, we weren't super close, but we were in the same friend group, so we still spent time together. We remained friends throughout middle school, but we really only talked at school, and we belonged to different friend groups. However, everything changed the summer after the COVID lockdown, which was after my 8th-grade year. That summer became a turning point where our bond grew stronger than ever before. We shared our secrets, dreams, and countless laughter-filled moments.
At the beginning of freshman year, our friendship remained rock solid, and we were hanging out all the time. But our friendship took a turn in October when she started dating her (now ex) boyfriend. Suddenly, I found myself placed in a secondary role in her life, and I started feeling left out and unimportant. Since she was spending so much time with her boyfriend, the time she spent with me became very minimal, and she would get frustrated with me whenever I brought up how I felt. So, then, instead of spending time together every weekend as we would before, we were hanging out maybe once a month, if that. At times, she would get so mad at me that she would blatantly ignore me for days, even weeks. It made me feel bad, especially since I had no idea what I had done wrong. As much as I tried to understand and be completely supportive of her and her relationship, it was hard not to feel like I was being pushed aside for someone else. As this continued, our friendship became strained, and I began feeling like her second choice.
Despite my many attempts to try and fix things, the divide between us only got wider. I reached out countless times, hoping to have honest and open conversations and address the underlying issues that were tearing us apart. However, my attempts were met with resistance and hostility, and it became clear to me that she was not ready to confront the problems that had ruined our relationship. As much as it hurt me, I eventually had to accept that I couldn't single-handedly fix our friendship. I needed to prioritize my well-being and move forward because no one deserves to be stuck in a toxic, one-sided friendship.
Then, the imitation began. At the beginning of our sophomore year, she was copying everything I did, and it escalated to a point that it was impossible to ignore. It wasn't just about adopting similar interests or admiring certain aspects of my life; she began imitating my style choices, hobbies, and even seeking to befriend everyone I considered close. Then, she began expressing hostility towards my closest friends that she wasn't friends with, and even though we were barely friends at this point, she would often make comments or lash out at me for spending time with other people, and it just felt so suffocating to have her constantly trying to control and monitor who I associated with. At the end of freshman year, I convinced her to audition for the spring musical with me, and what had once been a shared love for theatre turned into her joining the drama club solely because I was a part of it. This only escalated in sophomore year when she tried to one-up me in our theatre productions and would get mad at me for being friends with other people in theatre.
Though it was the most frustrating, her copying was not the only issue that strained our friendship. It was accompanied by a stream of gossip and negativity behind my back. I started hearing rumors and whispers about what she was saying, and it became evident that she would talk badly about me to anyone that would listen. It was hurtful to learn that while she was imitating me on the surface, she was also trying to tear me down behind closed doors, especially when I had done nothing to deserve it. Genuine admiration does not involve spreading rumors or undermining the person you claim to admire. I eventually realized that her consistent copying of my actions was not rooted in admiration, but instead in jealousy and a desire to bring me down to her level.
The experience of being copied by someone you considered a close friend can be incredibly frustrating, and let's be honest, downright annoying. It feels as if they become your shadow. You spend all this time figuring out who you are, expressing yourself through your styles, hobbies, and achievements, only to have someone try and mirror your every move. It's as if they want to become a carbon copy of you, and you end up feeling like a faded photocopy of yourself. It's not just the annoyance of seeing them copy your outfits or trying to hang out with your friends-- it's the emotional toll it takes on you. It's like they're stealing your spotlight, casting a shadow over your individuality, and making you question if your true self even matters.
The worst part of it is that their copying doesn't come from a place of genuine admiration. It's not like they're saying, "Wow, you inspire me! I look up to you!" No, it's more about their insecurities and a desperate need to fit in or feel validated. They're so busy imitating your every move that they forget to develop their own sense of self. It feels like they're trying to live your life instead of their own. And let's be real here, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery when it comes to backstabbing and talking behind your back.
But here's the deal: You are so much more than a template for someone else to copy. Your unique qualities, talents, and personality traits make you who you are, and they deserve to shine brightly. Always remember that you are so much more than just another face in the crowd, you are the star of your own story!